Lust&obsession;

I try my best to keep an open mind, but my expectations are set. Its impossible for them to be met so I'm forced to bend the rules. I don't like smokers, but I've dealt with many boys who instill this quality. I don't do that whole "gangster" thing, but my boyfriend record says otherwise. Its like I have a set "type" I just keep veering away from it. SMH Nobody is perfect and I understand that, I just don't like to see mistakes being made. I've heard that I am on who trys to change people and I believe that is true to a certain extent. Boys don't want all the things in between, they want to jump a few chapters, which is unfair. I'm not up for changing his whole life style, but maybe to slow him down and show him another way of living. I usually fail, but it never hurts to say I tried. My weakest point is falling to fast; I hate being vulnerable, but it seems as I always get hurt. I always remind myself not to get to attached but it never goes as planned. I try to build a wall and keep my guard up but that doesn't last long. I'm just looking for someone that understands me even when I don't speak a word. A friend more than a lover. I guess I'm dreaming the impossible but that doesn't mean I'm going to give up hope. He's out there :]